The Squat Toilet
I cannot for the life of me understand the design benefits of the squat toilet. The design of these shitters, is an old design based upon the technical marvel of a hole in the ground. Now when you come upon these toilet you might think that they were installed in the property a long time ago, BUT NO! Big C supermarket in Minburi has them in the gents, and there are no sit down toilets.
There are many problems and disavantages with this type of crapper. Now, being in Thailand, it is not uncommon to have the shits, espically if you are here for a short time and it takes a while for your stomach to be used to the Thai food. So as your stomach cramps begin, and you feel the urgent urge to pay a visit to the toilet, the look of relief on finding a toilet is replaced with sheer horror on entering the cubical. After gaining your composure, a plan of attack is needed to avert milky chocolate disaster.
The removal of your trousers is the first step, but where the hell do you put them? over your shoulder is your best bet for your trousers. You can of course remove your shoes and place them as far away as possible from the bowl, so as to avoid the brown Tsunami that is coming. You could leave your shoes on to avoid standing in piss. Next, position your right and left foot carefully either side of the bowl, and assume a comfortable squatting positon. I really don't think there is a good position for going to the toilet if you have dirrahea, and it helps if you have the balancing skills of a Kung Fu monk, as there is never a hand rail near the toilet to help with this. When ready, let it out. After all these fun and games the clean up operation of your crack begins. 99% of these toilets never seem to have any toilet paper, so try to smuggle some in. The only way to clean both you and the brown tide that has been laid around the cubical, is to use a small plastic bowl (bit like a tupperware container, but some what dirtier). While you must think this is all too much, please bear a thought for the old, infirm, and those very drunk, an accidental slip, and it could all be over. The toilet has never been such a dangerous place!
Q: Had any toilet troubles?
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