Are you becoming Thai?
Have you forgotten your roots and become Thai? How long has it taken Thailand to convert you?
Checklist for becoming Thai
- Wear a smart suit with lime green flip-flops
- Ask a person where they have been when they are carrying 6 Robinsons shopping bags.
- Use the expression ‘Lot Tit’ (traffic is bad) more than 20 times in the same day.
- Go swimming with all your clothes on
- Put sugar on the sweetest fruit
- Carry your bus fare in your ear
- Watch a whole movie through the window of a video shop
- Stand at a bus stop, but run towards the bus when it appears on the horizon
- Irritate everyone on the sky-train by talking loudly on your mobile phone and saying ‘khap’ or ‘kha’ a lot
- Actually start smiling while watching a game show on TV
- Enjoy looking at other people’s crappy holiday photos
- Carry a little poodle around the supermarket
- Stand in the express checkout line at the supermarket with enough shopping to feed an army
- Buy the largest box of popcorn physically possible, and go into the movie theatre ten minutes after the film starts.
- Spend 5 hours choosing a lottery ticket
- Read all the books and magazines in a book-shop before deciding not to buy anything
- Listen to the TV or radio about 10 decibels louder than it needs to be
- Cover your head with a sheet of soggy newspaper during a rain-storm
- Order a Big Mac, large french fries, massive Coke, and an ice-cream, and only finish the ice-cream
- Walk on the footpath as slowly as you can in a zig-zag pattern
- Produce about 50 different kinds of plastic at a supermarket check-out before realising the one you want is still at home
- Dilute your whisky with enough soda to render it virtually colorless
- Stand at the mouth of an escalator and have an in-depth conversation
- Get into an elevator before everyone else gets out
- Order the hottest dish on a menu, and then spend the next ten minutes telling everyone dining with you how hot it is
- Put a toilet roll in a gaudy looking box on the coffee table instead of up in the kharsi
- Stand around and gawp at a supermarket display of shampoo because there’s 2 baht off
- Manage to fall asleep on the washing line
- Adopt the same routine for 52 weekends a year
- Pride yourself on not knowing where the southern bus terminal is
- Or where Malaysia is
- Own a tape cassette collection of 120 tapes, of which 119 of them are soundtracks
- Have posters on your wall which include two babies kissing each other, and one of that tennis girl scratching her arse
- Park your car in the living room of your shop-house
- Organise a trip to Pattaya, which includes a guitar, an enormous ice-box, and five people who all turn up three hours late
Q: Have we missed anything? Let us know if you want to add anything
|Comments & Suggestions|
Have a problem? need an answer? want help? Get it here!